My wife’s affair started with Matthew Horsley while they were co-workers at Channel 6 News in San Diego, California. She was an on-air reporter and weekend anchor—he was a regular weekend “special guest” (aptly titled) on the weekend morning show. My wife worked both Saturday and Sunday each weekend for about a year during which Horsley appeared regularly on the show. Her “on-air” time was limited to about two hours during her eight hour shift in the early hours. She went to work at 4:00 a.m. and worked until about noon Most of the eight hours she had “free” to develop stories, write text for the tele-prompter, and apparently, entertain the guests of the show.
Horsley is a wealthy Senior Financial Planner in San Diego, California. He advises wealthy clients on retirement and estate planning, tax planning, and investment advice. He’s worked with San Diego wealth management clients, trusts, and charitable organizations. He’s well-educated-with a degree from the University of Michigan, and serves as a director or officer of several local “family oriented” charitable organizations including the San Diego Center for Children. A press release describing his wealthy client base and responsibility for the well-being of San Diego families is located here:
I suspected my wife of having an affair in 2007 when she began coming home later and later from her weekend assignments. They were over at noon, she would often arrive near dinnertime. Since she was on TV, I could watch her in the mornings with our son—then four years old—from our living room. “Look! Mommies on TV!” Many times she was “on TV” with “special guest” Matthew Horsley. Our son and I enjoyed playing together while we could watch mommie “work.”
I didn’t suspect my wife of cheating until much later, but as I think back, she would often explain that she was late because she had “extra work to do after the show.” It was a valid excuse—news reporting is a hard-working career. It requires long hours and odd shifts—you have to be “on” when the news is “on.” She would often work fifteen or twenty hour days. If someone calls in sick in a shift after you, you’re expected to cover. It was normal, and I didn’t mind because I got to spend the time with our son, going for short hikes, to the playground, or just spending quality time together—father and son at home. My wife and I had been together since High School—twenty years. I didn’t suspect her of cheating for a single second.
She had been spending more and more time at with her morning show because it was an advance in her career—her chance to move “up” to a permanent anchor position; the “plum” position. Her night-time shifts were three days a week, weekend morning shows two days a week. I recall that she more frequently began arriving home after midnight—several hours after her show ended. I assumed it was simply her demanding career. I had an early morning job and often couldn’t stay up, but noted—without suspicion—that she often crawled into bed after 1:00 a.m.
Things began to fall into place after my wife filed for divorce in June, 2007. We had been going through a rough period, but for unusual reasons. Throughout 2007 she would come home from work irritable—as if she had been having an argument with me before she arrived at home. She would come in the door “ready to fight”—it was almost as if I had been with her in the car from her work involved in some struggle. She would launch in accusing me of “you said this” when I wasn’t even in the car. She began finding fault with things that would never have bothered her before, and was often immediately hostile to me—even insulting me. She had always been emotional, and I assumed that she was just displacing frustrations she was having at work with me. I’d normally let her blow off steam and hope she would settle down after she changed gears to home life’s easier pace.
But in the summer of 2007 her “moods” become more permanent. There seemed to be something really eating at her—as if she really wanted a fight. I’d usually just duck and hope she got over it, but sometimes I’d tell her to lay off—that whatever was eating her wasn’t my fault. One such time, without even a fight, when I said “lay off” she said “that’s it, I’m getting a divorce.”
I was stunned—she had never talked about divorce. Not once. I assumed she was just blowing off steam. I moved to another bedroom, gave her some “space”, but she was determined that she was leaving, repeating it for several weeks, and insisting on taking more “free time” for herself outside the home. She filed within a few weeks, served me with papers, and immediately moved out of our house leaving me and our son at home.
I realized she was already seeing someone regularly very soon after she moved out—she would rather glowingly tell me “I’m going to the races with someone” or “I’m going out on a date.” It was clear she was “into” someone right away. I hoped it would be just a phase—a “rebound” and she’d come to her senses that breaking up our family over another guy was wrong.
It hit me that I was wrong when one day I showed up to pick our son up from school as scheduled, and he wasn’t there. The teachers said he she had arrived early and took him home. They didn’t know that our son’s home was with me—and that she was living separately.
I called her and she confirmed she took him to live “with people who love him” Her parents had come into town and had helped her take him from school to her new home.
We began the usual custody legal wrangling, and the court apportioned custody between us. My son began telling me about how mommy’s new friend “Matt” had a “new car” that “mommy gets to drive”. My (now) ex started showing up in a new $90,000 black Porsch 911 to pick up our son—sales sticker still on the car. She made at the time $35,000 a year. I later found out car—bought within weeks of her filing for divorce, was registered to Matt Horsley.
My son regularly told me about “Matt” and that they were going to see his parents, and lots of his friends.
I shared this story with my divorce attorney early in the divorce—I asked her if she thought Lynn had been having an affair. She looked at me like I was an idiot and effectively said so. “Cole, she’s been working with him for a year, coming home late, he buys her a car, and now she’s going to meet his parents. Are you an idiot?”
I was, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe she had been cheating. She suggested that the information might be useful in the divorce. I wasn’t interested in a “messy” divorce—my ex was a news reporter and any scuttlebutt would ruin her career. But I was curious to learn the truth. My attorney suggested several ways of finding out—skip tracing, phone tapping, lots of “detective” type work, which I declined. If she wanted to be with someone else, then so be it. With another guy already in the picture who was buying her expensive cars, paying her rent, and taking her on trips, I assumed the relationship was doomed and there was little use in trying to bring it back.
I was, however, concerned about our son. I wanted to know who this guy was, and whether he was trustworthy. My attorney suggested that I look at our home computer to see if I could find any files, email, photos, etc. that might lead to clues. I did, and remembered that we shared passwords on our email account. I had never used hers, and it had been so long I assumed she had changed the passwords. I was wrong. I quickly logged into her account and found the usual stuff—friends, family, and poked around until I found some people I didn’t recognize—quite a few. One of the most frequent ones was from Matt Horsley.
This turned out to be some of the most painful moments in my life. I read email after email from 2007—before our separation—between my wife and the man who was now, and had been for some time—her lover. I could see the relationship develop. At first strictly business, coordinating his appearances on her television show, schedules, topics, times, etc. He two or three times invited her out to company events. This wasn’t unusual—she received many such invitations from many people. Having a “TV News Personality” like my ex-wife at a company event with high net worth clients was a big deal. Her “star appeal” was clearly an asset—she was well aware of it and often did “favors” for guests or friends by “dropping by” an event. She reveled in the local stardom and attention.
The invitations included one or two night-time events-a dinner party or show. They appeared to be “strictly business” events. As far as I could tell, she had turned the night events down.
Until May, 2007, when I saw an email referencing confirmation to attend a show—the Jersey Boys—with a group of people. I couldn’t tell the details, but it was clear it was a group event and she was attending as Matt’s “guest.” I checked my calendar for that date, and realized that she had been working nights during that period—it would not be unusual for her to come home late—very late sometimes—on those nights. But on this night at least she had not been working, or at least not in the way I had assumed.
She had never mentioned that she was attending a show instead of work.
The emails took a different turn from there—far less formal, and far less detail. Quick, flirty, “wassup baby!” type emails back and forth. Friendly-flirty.
After our separation in July, 2007. The emails became more frequent, and I found several emails between her and her best girlfriend about her “new guy”—she bragged that he was only 35, she was 40 at the time. She told her friend he was “loaded,” bought her a car, and that they were planning to build a new home in Solana Beach near where we had lived together. I also saw emails between Matt and my ex talking about this—within weeks of our separation, years before our divorce was final, they had already picked out an existing place for sale on Nardo, went together to look at the home , bid on it, and started plans to demolish and rebuild. The details in the emails seemed to indicate they had been talking about it for some time—they echoed offline conversations with considerable details.
It was clear that she was calling the shots–She was giving direction about what to build where, how much to bid, when to meet, etc. He appeared to be taking orders—“yes dear” attitude. It seemed to me that he, like many others who are awed by someone who’s on TV, was star-struck by her.
I was floored. I had given up hopes of repairing the marriage, and since we were separated, she technically wasn’t required to be faithful, but I had no idea that she was into a deep affair at the time of our separation. As weeks went by my son regaled me with more stories of their spending time together, going on trips to see everyone’s parents, spending holidays together, and the nice shiny new Porsche Mommy was driving all the time now, as well as “Matt’s car”—the Porsche was now hers, and they used “Matt’s car” also.
My divorce attorney urged me to throw it at her in the custody battle. I refused. She was gone, and as long as my son was safe, I wasn’t concerned. But as time went on, I became increasingly concerned about our son’s safety.
On one occasion he arrived at our home with bruises on his wrist—as if someone had held his wrists too tightly. I emailed my ex-wife about the bruises and she denied knowledge. I photographed them and sent them to her. She had no explanation. She would occasionally call me to coordinate contact with our son while she was clearly drunk. Once I heard her threaten to spank him.
As time passed more details have come out in the divorce, and as she and Matt have begun to live together as a couple. She lost her job as a reporter soon afterward and moved in with him. They soon moved to a new home together in Carmel Valley where they now live. I could share more, but it’s too painful to detail again.